Ask Baba Yaga: What If The Person I Love Doesn't Want To Marry Me?

Baba Yaga by Emre Ohren (part of a series you can see HERE)

My first thought on seeing the questions was: well, I'm married, so this doesn't apply to me - but really, it does. We would all probably do a lot better if all our major decisions that were made with someone else, were considered from Baba Yaga's unique perspective.

Today's question and answer (via poet and oracle Taisia Kitaiskaia* of The Hairpin):

(Originally posted at The Hairpin HERE)

That's profound. So much of life - and how you react to it, what you choose to do - depends on how you see the world, the situation. Having to navigate any part of an important journey (marriage, babies, getting pets, moving house or cities, changing careers, renovation... the list goes on), with someone who can't see magic - or potential (or joy) - in the things you can, makes the road lonely, and lacking in resting places. When you essentially live in different worlds, despite being side by side, you can never relax and feel safe and known. Good words. I will have to find a way to ask "How do you see this portal?" and keep Baba's advice in mind. 

What do you think of Baba Yaga's advice?

Want to ask Baba Yaga a question of your own?

You can!

There's now an email address where you can send your questions

directly to Baba Yaga herself.

AskBabaYaga AT gmail DOT com

To encourage Baba Yaga to continue imparting her no-bones-about-it wisdom (ok, there may be some gristle in there... bones too), I suggest we not to leave her box empty... 

Thank you Baba Yaga (& Taisia).

* Taisia Kitaiskaia is a poet, writer, and Michener Center for Writers fellow. Born in Russia and raised in America, she's had her poems and translations published in Narrative Magazine, Poetry International, and others.

Review: Ballet Austin's "Belle Redux: A Tale of Beauty & the Beast"

Belle Redux: A Tale of Beauty & the Beast
Ballet Austin

Review by Tahlia Merrill (Timeless Tales Magazine)

What could be a more appropriate way to spend Valentine's weekend than attending a fairy tale themed ballet? Belle Redux is only playing in Austin for three days and I had the privilege of enjoying opening night. 

This is no Swan Lake, though. With narry a tutu or pointe shoe in sight, Belle Redux firmly establishes itself as a contemporary interpretation of Beauty and the Beast. The show, advertised as "multimedia", incorporates digital screens into the set to enhance the experience. Sometimes the screens clarify the location, such as a projected chandelier silhouette that lets the audience know they are viewing the Beast's mansion. Other times, they assist the plot, such as the pulsing red bar that appears on stage when the Beast (portrayed by Ed Carr) is first cursed (his Beast form is represented by a red stripe that runs from head to navel). The single set piece--a foil covered structure--is transformed from nondescript backdrop to ominous castle by shifting the lighting. 

While the style is contemporary, that does not mean Redux is a modernization. The set and costumes are designed as abstract symbols rather than fitting any specific time period. The music too blends the clear tones of classical strings with the gritty reverb of electric guitar. 

Because the show sticks to a fairly monochromatic color scheme, I found myself drawing connections between the characters' costumes and their good/evil alignment. It seemed simple at first: Belle's sisters dress in black leotards to show that they are wicked. Belle (danced by Michelle Thompson) wears a fluttery green dress to show her fresh innocence. The father wears black and white plaid to show that his loyalties are divided--while he loves Belle, he is still controlled by his evil daughters. Since The Rose represents the curse, the ballerina playing The Rose is dressed in a spiky black tutu and a crown of red roses. The Beast wears black leather pants with a white waistband, so that means he's evil, but there's still a little good in him. 

It's not always that simple, of course. In the first scene, both good and evil are portrayed wearing white, as is the pre-beast prince. Here's the description of the prologue from the program:

"In a beautiful place, a young boy lives. He is surrounded by roses and a life filled with things that are good. As he grows, the goodness surrounding him is subsumed by evil. As the boy matures, he resists the evil, but it cruelly marks him."

Notice that, in this version, the Beast doesn't start out as a haughty prince who rejects an ugly woman. This isn't a story about the Beast's redemption, it's about Belle's ability to see his true self. In the end, Belle finds herself in a room full of mirrors where she encounters versions of her family members, now carrying the same red mark as the Beast. Eventually, she sees a reflection of herself with the same red mark. It is only then that she sees both the Beast and the Prince at the same time. 

Now, because dance is such an abstract medium, it can be tough to pull out definitive messages. But my interpretation of the action is that when when Belle finally kisses the Prince, it shows that she has learned to love the inner good of the Beast. Everyone has imperfections, including Belle, but only the Beast has them displayed for everyone to see. 

Most surprisingly, instead of her kiss permanently bringing back the handsome Prince, the final scene is a romantic dance between Belle and the Beast--still bearing his red mark. In Redux, love isn't about changing a person, but loving them, scars and all. 

_________________________________________________________________________________

Tahlia Merrill is Editor of Timeless Tales Magazine, and an official partner of Once Upon A Blog.

Production: Belle Redux: A Tale of Beauty & the Beast by Ballet Austin - A 3M Innovation Commission
Performance Date: February 13th, 2015
Cast: Michelle Thompson dances Belle and Ed Carr portrays the Beast.
Photos by: Tony Spielberg (courtesy of Ballet Austin)

Once upon a time... A forbidden garden, a mysterious castle...  A beauty. A beast. A ballet. Inspired by the 1946 Jean Cocteau film and featuring an original score by Graham Reynolds. Commissioned by 3M.  FEBRUARY 13-15 at The Long Center.

More information can be found about Ballet Austin's commissioned production by 3M Innovation at the website HERE, while showings and tickets information can be found HERE (Sunday tickets are still available!).

You can see our previous post on Belle Redux and the unique approach to the production and retelling of the fairy tale, including costume and set design, HERE.

Disclosure: Complimentary tickets were provided in exchange for an honest review.

My Fairy Tale Romance Is Not For the Faint Of Heart

The cover for Winter rose by Patricia A. McKillip, painting by Kinuko Y. Craft

I'm not usually one to note days like Valentine's Day but with all the talk of love and fairy tales at the moment in the media I thought I'd take the opportunity to share one of my favorite fairy tales ever since it has a lot to do with love.

It's Tam Lin and I love this fairy tale ballad, but not because of the initial passion and "romance", though clearly the girl who insists on exploring "her" land, (despite that it's forbidden) is not some shy, retiring violet. Depending on how you read it, it can be seen as a lust-at-first-sight situation (and she's actually the one who makes the first move) which leaves the girl pregnant. Even if you allow for some time and it not all happening on a first meeting, it's still happens very quickly. While it's all very sexy (and the metaphors within the ballad can be interpreted quite steamily!), it's not really a good basis for a relationship. But it's what happens afterward that draws me in.

The girl, Janet (or Jennet or sometimes Margaret) stands by her decision to choose this man, against her father's will, against the possibility of losing everything and facing the very real possibility that she will be a disowned single mother with no title, land or resources. Not only that, in order to be with her man at all, she has to go up against the Faerie Queen (think super model with celebrity status, hefty bodyguards and actual magic to boot) to win her man back from the tithe/enchantment he's under - and it's a really tough challenge.

She has to pull him off a horse from the middle of an intimidating (and dangerous) Faerie Retinue that's in the middle of a serious procession,  then has to keep a hold of him as he changes forms, trying to escape her grasp, until he changes back into a man and wraps him in a green cloak. The forms include a bear, a lion, a giant snake and fire (!). Her mantra through all this is to remember he is already committed to her (he reminds her he will be present in the future as the father for their son too) and to "hold tight, don't let go".

It's simple but hefty advice for a couple - to hold tight to your partner, to your relationship and your family, through all the changes and challenges you never see coming.

She wins, of course, and the Faerie Queen is furious but must keep her end of the bargain.

I always imagine the heroine in quite bad shape afterward (not to mention exhausted and worried about her baby that's almost due to be born) while her just-freed man is disoriented, aching and naked under the green cloak she's wrapped him in. It's a tough start for the little family but it's an exhilarating one and it's clear they're not people who give up. He isn't (he's been waiting years for the right girl to bond to and to free him) and she isn't (she's just proven that) and they're about to start a new line of fierce people who love with their all.

Because Tam Lin had kept his human heart - the heart that loved Janet - intact through it all (much to the Faerie Queen's regret), he was able to turn back to his true self and be with the one he truly loved - the one who truly loved him.

I can't think of a better way to show your love for someone than to celebrate them as fully as possible and be proud of that in the good times and to be there with them, side by side, when challenges rise, no matter what happens and how unrecognizable they become in the process.

May we love wisely, well and fiercely!

What is your favorite fairy tale about love, passion and/or romance, and why?

Note:  Apart from the header, images above are by Jill Karla Schwarz from the Time Life Series Enchanted World retelling of Tam Lin. While there are a number of wonderful retellings of the story in novel form, my favorite is still Patricia A. McKillip's Winter Rose, the full spread cover of which is shown at the head of the post. (See? I do have somewhat of a romantic side!)

"True Love and Fairy Tales" Pt II (Article)

Raiponce
by Sonia (a.k.a. petitpoids)

Part II of my article "True Love and Fairy Tales" is live at Supernatural Fairy Tales.

Part I takes a good (raised-eyebrow) look at Cinderella and Part II untangles Rapunzel (sorry, couldn't resist!).

True love in fairy tales isn't quite what most people think it is - it might actually be better. ;)

Part I is HERE and Part II is HERE.

Enjoy!

True Love and Fairy Tales (Article)

Rapunzel and her Prince
by Emily Forgot

Part one of my two-part article "True Love and Fairy Tales" is now live at Supernatural Fairy Tales.

Here's the intro to get you started:

When most people think of love and fairy tales it tends to get boiled down to something like this:

Love-at-first-sight = true love = happily ever after (with maybe a task in the middle in which the hero proves just how far BEYOND the ends of the earth he’s willing to go for this true-love-at-first-sight-girl.)

The thing is, fairy tales are rarely like that at all, particularly if they’re about love...

You can keep reading HERE. Enjoy! (Part two is coming on March 4th.)

Beauty vs Beast? (Article)

Beauty & the Beast

by George Barr

I didn't post half of what I wanted to yesterday for Valentine's Day so please forgive me if I continue with this love and romance in fairy tales theme for a couple more days yet.

WARNING: CONTROVERSY AHEAD!

I've gone back and forth on whether to post the link to this but fairy tales don't shy away from dark and difficult issues so here goes:

I found this post, originally by Rod Van Mechelen quite a few years ago, at a site labeled "What Every Man Should Know About Feminist Issues". (You read the warning above, right?) It discusses the problems one man has in using "Beauty and the Beast" as an allegory for a successful marriage/relationship.

The article/post appears to have been written in response to a book called "Why Women Shouldn't Marry", which should tip you off to the strong feelings/opinions discussed. (In other words, it's one guy's complaint at feminist expectations (and treatments) of potential male partners. And no, I have not read that book.)

Please note: I do not agree with the points the writer of the article is trying to make, though I do not mean any disrespect. I actually think there's rather a lot wrong with the whole thing BUT at the same time I can understand some of the concerns the article writer has, as extreme as they are. The reason I'm posting a link here is because this is - apparently - how some people think, and it's a good example of the sorts of problems people have with using fairy tales as templates for relationships. (And yes, usually people of this mind have not read the originals or read fairy tales in general at all but are responding to the pop-cultural impression of the tropes.) It also is a different example of how fairy tales can be interpreted and how, even from a negative point of view, they can touch on deep issues.

Beauty and the beast
by Johanna Ost

Needless to say (but I will anyway) the post is written rather defensively in its presentation of worrying-yet-interesting ideas. If for nothing else, here's a great example of how some disillusioned or negative characters might think, which can be very useful for writers of fairy tale retellings.

Here's an excerpt:

The essence of the myth of the marriage relationship, as it is endlessly replayed in the timeless allegory Beauty and the Beast, is that marriage transforms the "Beast" into a man, and thereby empowers the "Beauty." But today's reality is that women are helping to transform most men into sex starved "Beasts" by eroticising themselves as evanescent "Beauties," and then promoting their sex as a scarce commodity by making men beg and pay for it.

Every woman who "plays hard to get" or lets men make all the first moves, plays a part in this.

Told you it may read as controversial! ;)

You can read the whole post HERE.

One final note: if you wish to leave a comment on the article (or this post) I welcome all points of view - I just ask that you please be respectful in choosing your words and be aware that issues like these can be emotional (and sometimes confusing) for people in their personal situations.

Wish You Were Part of a Fairy Tale Couple? You May Want to Think Again...

by Annie Leibovitz

Today is Valentine's Day and that means many things to many people. Not growing up in the US, Valentine's was not a day for kids. It was really to give a little push to couples who could use it - whether in declaring their unspoken feelings to new beaus or their long time partners. Of course, once Hallmark got a hold of the 'holiday', the pressure was on and now just having dinner with someone of February 14th is loaded with meaning. It's become a day full of unreal expectations and not many people are secure enough in themselves and their relationships to enjoy the day without feeling any pressures. Of course, the idea of 'a fairy tale romance' comes up a lot around today's date but if you really stop and think about it, fairy tale love isn't always what you might think.

Artist unknown

I have an article on "True Love and Fairy Tales" coming up in the next week at Supernatural Fairy Tales (so look out for that one) but for today I wanted to share something I found while researching: a priceless old blog post of Sarah Beth Durst's from 2008 on "Fairy Tale Couples".

If you're not aware of Sarah, you should be. She's written three fairy tale based books so far with her latest being "Ice", a retelling of "East Of the Sun, West of the Moon" (you can read my post on "Ice" HERE). In addition to telling a good story she's wonderfully funny on her blog and often takes a good hard look at fairy tales with her tongue firmly planted in her cheek.

The Prince sees Snow White by Margaret Tarrant

Here's an excerpt from "Fairy Tale Couples" in which she looks at the cons of fairy tale couples or:

WHY I DON'T WANT A FAIRY-TALE RELATIONSHIP (or Reasons to Buy the Card with Love Birds on it Instead)
Snow White and Prince
HER: Leaves her loyal friends after just one kiss.
HIM: Falls in love with a dead girl. Ick.

After a few other dubious fairy tale couple examples she goes on to the pros or:

WHY I'M GIVING MY HUSBAND THE CARD ANYWAY (or Why I Still Think Fairy-Tale Love is Romantic)
Snow White and Prince
As a wedding present, he lets her murder the evil witch. Now that's true love.

Development art by Gustav A. Tenggren for Disney's Snow White

It's not a long post but it's very funny and very smart. You'll find yourself laughing and both being thankful for what you have (or don't have - ick!) and finish reading with your fairy tale romance dreams still somehow intact. Go read the whole thing HERE (then go support her by buying her books, so she'll be able to write more great stuff - we need writers like Sarah!).

Thank you Sarah, and Happy Valentine's day everyone.