Monday, March 22, 2010

Once Upon A House...

My apologies for the sudden lack of posts and for not answering emails the past couple of weeks (at least!). I've decided to share what's been happening for me and mine in the hopes that others having difficulties will be encouraged that they are not alone. So here's the most personal post I've written for Once Upon A Blog so far...

I have houses on the brain.

You see, to put it bluntly, we are losing ours. I almost wrote 'home', but in the days since finding out that this was not only a possibility but an actuality it's become very clear that home will be wherever my little family ends up. It's not dependent on a building or a location, or even our 'stuff'. As long as we're together, we will be Home and everything will be OK.Everyone knows the economy in the US is in a terrible state but it's not till it starts affecting people you know (and your own family) that you realize how widespread it is. We've known the possibility of moving was there for a while but facing it, especially under these circumstances (which are complicated and personal) as the 'thing that has to happen' was shocking - devastating even. Once we started talking about the difficulties we've been having though, lots of people began to confess they were in hardship too. And I do mean LOTS. All the secrecy, shame, the hiding heads in the sand and the fear are contributing to people not learning what they should about their situation and what their options truly are. This is the main reason I want to share. No matter where you are in your troubles with finances, jobs (and the lack of them) and housing, you always have a choice.

This is one of the very important lessons I've learned from fairy tales. Bad things happen. Sometimes it's your fault, sometimes it isn't. No matter what, you DO have choices. Maybe they're not nice choices or easy choices BUT it's empowering to actively choose, instead of just having everything happen to you.
For us, the choice has been to proceed with what's called a "short sale". It's not what we wanted but we believe it's our best option at this juncture. It's tricky with banks changing the rules every few weeks (and incredibly frustrating when you've been trying to negotiate a loan modification for over half a year) but being active in what happens to us in the future makes us feel less like victims and more like we're managing a bad situation for a better outcome. Knowing we are doing everything we can to put things right means we can move forward with fewer regrets and reduce our chances of ever being in this situation again.I will continue to post at Once Upon A Blog when I can during these challenges but please forgive the lack of daily fairy tale news until the changes are complete and the dust settles.

To all those facing trouble of all kinds, hang in there. You're not alone. We're right there with you and we're determined to make it out the other side. Yes, we're trudging through a very dark part of the woods and yes, there most definitely are wolves (they come in all shapes and sizes). The worry continues and the stress is high (we are human after all) but we now know there's a way through and that there's a 'they lived happily' in our future to look forward to.


Sincerely,
Gypsy

PS The fun pictures in this post are from a Photoshop challenge called Bizarrchitecture, by Worth 1000. You can see these and lots more fun, fantasy houses HERE (you'll need to scroll down past the welcome at the top of the page).

12 comments:

  1. Gypsy,
    I'm so so sorry to hear about your house. My thoughts are with you and your family. Thank you for talking about it here, you really are an inspiration. I want to wish you all the very best in finding a new house which I'm sure you will make into a wonderful home. Those wolves have a lot to answer for - I'm not normally a vengeful person but a bit of old fashioned fairy tale justice wouldn't go amiss!
    Take care,
    Claire xxx

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  2. I'm sorry about your troubles! But remember what happened in the LOTR:

    ‘Always after a defeat and a respite, the Shadow takes another shape and grows again.’ ― ‘I wish it need not have happened in my time,’ said Frodo.

    ― ‘So do I,’ said Gandalf, ‘and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.’ ― ‘The Lord of the Rings’, Book I, Chapter 2

    We live in a fallen world, and as a result, bad things will indeed happen. But be comforted and know that our lives are being written out like a book, one chapter coming after the next.

    We, the protagonists, do not know what will come with the next page, but we can rest assured that in the end, all the events and plots and words will tie in together to make a marvelous ending. This is so, because the Author is an excellent writer, and there will indeed be a real happily-ever-after.

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  3. Dear Gypsy, what you have written is clear, helpful, and wise. I love that you know your home is with the ones you love, and that you want to create your reality rather than be a victim of others' harshness. There really is so much love and joy beyond the scary necromancers. These are things it has taken me a long time to learn inside my own self-created fairy tale, and I am happy for your reminder. Best best best wishes to you.

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  4. Thanks for sharing your story. I am in the process of requesting a loan modification for our own home a long painful process.

    Wish you the best on your new adventure.

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  5. Best of luck to you and your family.

    Cia

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  6. So sorry to hear this :( But your attitude is both impressive and inspirational! I wish you the best of luck with this little speed bump and, as always, look forward to more fairy tale news!

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  7. dear gypsy, my heart goes out to you, i admire your honesty & your courage & your outlook. You are so right about the choices, it is about "not just letting things happen". A hard lesson i have had to learn. We are losing out home too, for slightly different reasons. Through it all i think we will learn & become stronger & there are so many folk out there who are far far worse off. i hope that everything gets sorted for you very soon. x x

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  8. I apologize for what's happening to you at the present time. I know you don't know me, but I've been keeping up with your blog for a while and enjoy it, so when I saw this post, I just wanted you to know that I've had a friend who has been having a hard time with money and her family, and I wish you as much luck as possible and admire you on your courage and optimism going through this choice.
    Britt (Brokenshell)

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  9. Thank you for posting this. Not only is it poignant, but hopeful.

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  11. Thank you for sharing. It is a difficult time for many, but it's very uplifting to hear you talk about choices.

    "No matter what, you DO have choices. Maybe they're not nice choices or easy choices BUT it's empowering to actively choose, instead of just having everything happen to you."

    Keep your eyes on where you want to go with your life, and keep taking baby steps in that direction. You will make it through.

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  12. I'm sorry to hear about your house, too, but glad you shared--and also so thrilled to have found your fairy tale news blog! It's a wonderful thing you're doing.

    I just heard Seattle-based fairy tale writer Bret Fetzer recently, http://www.pistilbooks.net/si/079005.html
    and was so impressed by these beautiful tales that I've been looking for more fairy tale info online.

    Take care, and know that you're doing something that brings much to people's lives!

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